Monday, February 6, 2012

Expectations

I remember when back in the day I would bump onto some cute guy online and set up a date. And I would rush to the store to buy a nice shirt. And how on the day of, I’d feel a little nervous and go through topics to talk about (in my head). I’d put on some make-up, and make my hair look nice. I would even wear perfume (and I’m not one to like perfume). We would meet and then (1) he didn’t look like he did on the pictures; (2) he had no manners, a/k/a was a total asshole; (3) he lied about his height – shorter than me; (4) the chemistry was just not there. Back to square one. Rinse, lather, repeat. REPEAT. Over and over and over again. Can you relate?

When dating… How high are your expectations? Mine are floor level. Or probably subway tunnel level. As in two stories underground. You know… Where there is absolutely no cell phone coverage. That’s how low they are. That’s what I’ve learned from 5 years of endless dating.

I’ve heard and read over and over again that we, as dating human beings, should not expect too much of the one we are going out with. Even though now I agree with this stupid statement, I can’t help but wonder from time to time, WHY THE HELL NOT??? Why can’t we expect to have a great date? Great conversation? Why can’t I expect to (and I’m not speaking for myself cause this bears no value to me, but I know it does for other women) have my date open the door for me? Or pull my chair as I sit at our table? Why can’t we expect that the MAN will take the reigns of the date and PLAN something amazing and/or fun for us? Why can’t we expect that he will show up holding a single flower for this magnificent woman he’s about to meet? Why can’t we expect for him to WOW us? Why can’t we expect for him to walk us outside and put us in a cab, or walk us to the train/bus station? Why can’t we expect that they will pick up the coffee bill? Or the dinner/lunch/drinks bill? Aren’t we worth most (if not all) of these things – and then some? Well, I know I’M worth it, but if he lacks on all (or most) of these basics, then perhaps, he’s not worth MY time.

I’ve learned that having some expectations is a good thing - just don’t have the expectations connected to another human being or you could be terribly disappointed. Expect to have the most amazing guacamole your taste buds have ever had the pleasure of tasting. Expect to have a delicious alcoholic beverage. Expect to taste the best cup of coffee in town. Expect to discover a new place you know for sure your best friend would love. Expect to smile at least just once. Expect to go home at a decent time. Know yourself, and the things that you know will make you happy no matter what. Enjoy the time with your date even if the one sitting across from you is not what/who he said he was, or if there’s simply no chemistry to work with. “My date is just unbearable!” you say? Well excuse yourself, stand up, walk away. There’s no need to be polite or “nice” if you’re feeling miserable. You won’t see him again. Just. Walk. Away.

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